



My thoughts, feelings and ideas related to being a human (and hopefully humane) bean, a man, a father and a committed life partner - often related to topics such as men, feminism, and politics.
WHY? WHY? WHY?
Commonly we individually or collectively ask: Why? such as:
Why was the Holocaust allowed to happen?
One may answer this question in varying ways such as:
1.) Hitler, a horrible individual came to power and together with other
evil people used the Jews and others as scapegoats and killed millions
of innocent people, or
2.) World War I began with an incident that triggered a war where there
were no good nations nor just cause. At the end of the War,
Germany was humiliated and its people collectively punished with war
reparations and related punishments. Out of the chaos that resulted
people pushed to both the radical left and right seeking an answer.
The radical right won out through Hitler as many people sought order
and self-worth. Initially Hitler gave many Germans a sense of
well-being and his cleverness pushed good people on a horrific path
.
Or
3.) There is no good answer to this question. One can explain many
things, however the end was in no way justifiable or understandable, it
just happened.
The Why question becomes much harder when we face questions such as:
1.) Why is my child dying of cancer at a young age? or
2.) Why was X killed by a drunk driver when s/he was so young? or
personally for me:
3.) Why did my father (who lived a good life) die at 46 of stomach
cancer, while my ex-father-in-law lived to around age 80 (despite
abusing his body with smoking and drinking heavily much of his life)?
Answering such questions related directly to our own lives requires us
to do various things such as:
1.) Examining ourselves critically and looking for parts of ourselves
that may perhaps have contributed to the issue that bothers us, and:
2.) Recognizing the importance of our deep seated fears and other
emotions and relating them to what is bothering us, and
3.) Seeing how others may be different from us in important ways and
both honoring the differences and not taking responsibility for things
that are beyond us and not part of us, and
4.) Accepting reality both our part in why where it may be anywhere
from totally not our fault to where we may have had some or all the
responsibility for what happened, and perhaps most importantly,
5.) Having faith whether through religion, other spiritual beliefs or
simply part of our inner core so that our doubts and fears are felt
but do not control us or hurt us more than they have to.
Life isnt fair some of the time. We each face our own doubts and
questions. Individually we must find how we can best deal with our
own whys? recognizing our past life experiences as well as looking to
the future.
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Life now for me seems in a way on two parallel tracks:
The Easy or Simple
and
The Hard or Complex
A good example of the easy is life with our Labradoodle Puppy Rojo who is now roughly 13 weeks old. The complexities with him are when he has a minor "accident" in the house or is barking when he may awaken others or is otherwise seeking attention when we don't want to be
bothered.
Far, Far more common with Rojo is the silliness and joy of a wonderful "little boy" growing and experiencing life. He's sleeping next to me now in a laundry basket with a blanket in it that is a little small for him, so his head is sloped upward at one end - looks cute, no complaints from him. On walks he draws the attention of others very easily - and basks in it when people pet him. When he's ignored by others - he forgets "the slight" almost immediately and is off on
another adventure.
The Hard or Complex is certainly a challenge; no question about that! At the same time lessons can be learned from The Easy for it.
My mother is aging and my step-father is getting really old. Their issues are hard to accept sometimes and complex to resolve as well.
By choice I am struggling with an issue involving others. I want to succeed in getting what I think is important accomplished, but my words may not change anything. I must live with whatever results may occur knowing that I am doing my best with it.
Someone close to me is depressed - life looks often like an enveloping closed small box - narrowing in. It isn't my vision of the world now, but its reality affects me and my life.
Being grounded and relaxed and in a sense like Rojo - without being "a dog" - in its literal context is important in coping with the stresses of life today. The more that I can take in and accept, without being torn apart or visibly grabbed by the difficult energy around me, the
more I can be both emotionally supportive and good for practical assistance.
It isn't easy, but it is satisfying to succeed in small ways. The larger picture I may have limited, at best, effect on. Little things can lift the heart and also lead to bigger things.
Life is a challenge! I wouldn't want it any other way.
Thanks!
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To be in pain, hurting
Without
Losing choices inside
as you had always been
Free still as
your Heart and Soul
Struggle
to hold on
to your essence
But
the Pain
Reminding You
of your transparency
Pushing and pulling
at your Mind
Taking You
Gradually – Away
Losing a part
of your Loved Ones
Who can only be with you
to the edge
You face – with your Beloved
Keeping your Life
as normal as possible
as days grow shorter
weakening breath
Keeping your Spirit Alive
with Dignity
with Grace
Being the Wonderful Person
You’ve been
Caring for Others
Your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren even
Neighbors, Students, Friends
Now – at Long Last
Beginning
to take – a little more – offered
from those You’ve Touched
Tis Sad, but necessary
Moving on
Letting Go – slowly
A Life – Well Lived
Tears – from one whose
known you for many years
Never – really fully appreciating you
Til – hearing Your Honesty
in a moment’s breath
I’m sad – and stunned
Happy – that you shared
the Truth with me
Hoping to have another
Brief Moment
With You
Knowing and Not Knowing
Sensing – Feeling Sad
Gaining – a gift of life
To be in pain, hurting ….
- - 11/7/2006 --
There are many things in life that I do not understand at a deep level.
While I can and do know why my partner cares seriously about some
things that mean very little to me, I really don't understand most such
things deeply. IF I understood such things as she did, they would
mean much more to me.
I can not understand why many people in the United States support
policies and politicians which/who are strongly opposed to their best
interests. I can see that they see things like: "patriotism" and
"religious" and "straight talker" and similar which to me mask truths
which aren't spoken.
I accept though that the realities of others are different from my
realities. Their world view is different. My "rational thought" is
equally irrational to them as theirs may be to me.
I do trust the good will of most people. While I question much, I
believe that most people wish peace within themselves and others. We
all want and need respect and love.
It is sad though that we see and often feel so much hate and seemingly
deliberate hurt in our lives. Respecting and accepting the truth of
the realities of others and their words about them is important to me.
It helps me accept and care for others who I otherwise might have
greater difficulties relating to.
Thanks!
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A World of Plenty vs. “Deficit Living”
1. A World of Plenty and
2. Deficit Living