Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Easy (Simple) and The Hard (Complex)

Life now for me seems in a way on two parallel tracks:

The Easy or Simple
The Hard or Complex

A good example of the easy is life with our Labradoodle Puppy Rojo who is now roughly 13 weeks old. The complexities with him are when he has a minor "accident" in the house or is barking when he may awaken others or is otherwise seeking attention when we don't want to be

Far, Far more common with Rojo is the silliness and joy of a wonderful "little boy" growing and experiencing life. He's sleeping next to me now in a laundry basket with a blanket in it that is a little small for him, so his head is sloped upward at one end - looks cute, no complaints from him. On walks he draws the attention of others very easily - and basks in it when people pet him. When he's ignored by others - he forgets "the slight" almost immediately and is off on
another adventure.

The Hard or Complex is certainly a challenge; no question about that! At the same time lessons can be learned from The Easy for it.

My mother is aging and my step-father is getting really old. Their issues are hard to accept sometimes and complex to resolve as well.

By choice I am struggling with an issue involving others. I want to succeed in getting what I think is important accomplished, but my words may not change anything. I must live with whatever results may occur knowing that I am doing my best with it.

Someone close to me is depressed - life looks often like an enveloping closed small box - narrowing in. It isn't my vision of the world now, but its reality affects me and my life.

Being grounded and relaxed and in a sense like Rojo - without being "a dog" - in its literal context is important in coping with the stresses of life today. The more that I can take in and accept, without being torn apart or visibly grabbed by the difficult energy around me, the
more I can be both emotionally supportive and good for practical assistance.

It isn't easy, but it is satisfying to succeed in small ways. The larger picture I may have limited, at best, effect on. Little things can lift the heart and also lead to bigger things.

Life is a challenge! I wouldn't want it any other way.


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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

To Be Hurting Inside

To Be Hurting Inside
can bring
A Pain - A Void
No Words
to Ably Describe
the Fears
to Know Not
- - - Where or How
to Move On
a Fright - a Terror

To Be -
- - but Not
within the Tunnel
but Hearing only Whispers
the Cries are So Much
so Poignant

Being Alone
- - One - -
In Fear and Hurt

The Other Apart
Is Sad - but Necessary
Today -


Sunday, November 12, 2006

Rojo and Jaibu

Rojo - the smaller - darker pup has now been with us for 15 days. Jaibu ("Jahboo") came yesterday - he will be my partner's brother's pup after Thanksgiving. They both are delightful! I get little sleep - up twice last night to take the pups out - had been once after 5-6 hours before then with one pup. We also had howling galore - for 1 1/2 hours at first until we put Jaibu in a laundry crate by my bed.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


I'm very happy with the election results yesterday!

It will be a challenge for the Democrats to really produce and build towards the future.

My partner feels to the contrary. She believes that Until things get so bad that people are in the streets protesting and putting their lives on the line things won't change for the better substantively. I'm not optimistic that things will be much better now. I am clear that perhaps they won't get much worse as they were doing in recent years as a result of Bush and his cohorts.

I also don't like the "doom" approach at all. I think that a right-wing dictatorship is much more likely than a populist change for the better. IF her scenario were accurate I think there would be a minimum of 10-20 years of chaos and conflict before things were to improve significantly. In the meantime death and destruction would make things a lot worse in my estimation.

I hope - I don't expect. I try and hope that others try.

It feels good today to me!


Tuesday, November 07, 2006

To Be in Pain

To be in pain, hurting


Losing choices inside

as you had always been

Free still as

your Heart and Soul


to hold on

to your essence


the Pain

Reminding You

of your transparency

Pushing and pulling

at your Mind

Taking You

Gradually – Away

Losing a part

of your Loved Ones

Who can only be with you

to the edge

You face – with your Beloved

Keeping your Life

as normal as possible

as days grow shorter

weakening breath

Keeping your Spirit Alive

with Dignity

with Grace

Being the Wonderful Person

You’ve been

Caring for Others

Your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren even

Neighbors, Students, Friends

Now – at Long Last


to take – a little more – offered

from those You’ve Touched

Tis Sad, but necessary

Moving on

Letting Go – slowly

A Life – Well Lived

Tears – from one whose

known you for many years

Never – really fully appreciating you

Til – hearing Your Honesty

in a moment’s breath

I’m sad – and stunned

Happy – that you shared

the Truth with me

Hoping to have another

Brief Moment

With You

Knowing and Not Knowing

Sensing – Feeling Sad

Gaining – a gift of life

To be in pain, hurting ….

- - 11/7/2006 --

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Understanding and Accepting

There are many things in life that I do not understand at a deep level.
While I can and do know why my partner cares seriously about some
things that mean very little to me, I really don't understand most such
things deeply. IF I understood such things as she did, they would
mean much more to me.

I can not understand why many people in the United States support
policies and politicians which/who are strongly opposed to their best
interests. I can see that they see things like: "patriotism" and
"religious" and "straight talker" and similar which to me mask truths
which aren't spoken.

I accept though that the realities of others are different from my
realities. Their world view is different. My "rational thought" is
equally irrational to them as theirs may be to me.

I do trust the good will of most people. While I question much, I
believe that most people wish peace within themselves and others. We
all want and need respect and love.

It is sad though that we see and often feel so much hate and seemingly
deliberate hurt in our lives. Respecting and accepting the truth of
the realities of others and their words about them is important to me.
It helps me accept and care for others who I otherwise might have
greater difficulties relating to.


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Thursday, November 02, 2006

Election Eve Almost

I can only hope that this election will be the beginning of a political period of some hope. My partner believes that things will need to get "very bad" to the point that we have major societal upheaval and change to make things better. I find that scenario wrong, because I think the result of such a state would be more likely a dictatorial-facist state, rather than a progressive one.

Obviously it will make a huge difference if the Democrats have majority status in one or both of House or Senate. I agree with my partner that: "not as bad" as opposed to: "good" is not a long-term solution to our major problems. I also believe that the current strategies kill and destroy the lives of far too many people in the U.S. and other parts of the world.

IF the Democrats should regain some power I hope that they will begin the slow process of many issues including:

1.) Abuses of Executive Power of the Bush Administration - ending or limiting actions by Bush and his cohorts which allow for the creation of tacit laws or ignoring laws that they don't like, administrative processes which ignore precedent and the law, etc.

2.) Electoral Reform - to end the buying of elections - very important - very hard to get changed,

3.) National Health Insurance - very hard to get, but getting the talking going again at least,

4.) Moving towards if not totally ending the U.S. military presence in Iraq,

5.) Helping make future military adventures less likely to happen,

6.) Helping end the polarization of our body politic - working to bridge the gap with Evangelical Christian forces and stop the scapegoating of Gays/Lesbians and others

7.) Ending the tax give-aways to the rich and starting to build towards a more progressive tax structure in general


Rojo - Update

Rojo has been a joy from the beginning! He gets me up 2-3 times each night - to go outside - rustling in his box by the bed - and has had zero accidents during the night. He walks with me with or without a leash (doesn't like the leash that much). He loves people, dogs and even tries in his puppy way to play with Stuart, the cat.

The little boy is spoilt - certainly. He also is a wonderful, loving addition to our household at 8-9 weeks of age.