Sunday, September 17, 2006

Tears - Feelings - Mortality

I'm crying now as I write. I'm reading Lauren Bacall's autobiography. I just read of her beloved Humphrey Bogart's death January 14, 1957 after his struggle with cancer. I cry when I feel sad or touched at times.

My tears are increasing thinking of my own father's death Friday, November 13, 1964 when I was 13 years old. I remember my mother awakening my (younger) brother saying: "Wake up boys. Daddy died this morning." My father had been very sick. His death was entirely "logical" to me then. At the same time I'd never consciously been aware that he was dying. Death wasn't talked about commonly then and not in our family.

As I get older I think of death more and more. It gets gradually easier for me to think of it at all.

Since my father's death I've been relatively lucky related to losing family and friends. One hard moment was when my friend Pamella's younger sister was shot-to-death in the parking structure of the New Orleans Hilton in a hold-up in her 20's (I think) years ago.

Now my step-father is in his mid-80's and next year my mother will have her 80th birthday.

We each have our own personal visions of both life and death. While we can share some of our feelings, it is our own path largely apart from others. We can receive and give love and support.

I try to appreciate and enjoy the life that I have! I've been fortunate to be able to retire at age 55 and to have the time to do some of the things that I want to do for myself. I hope to continue to enjoy living for as long as I have. Each day, each month, each year - is something much appreciated!



jeff said...

I love that you're in touch enough with your emotions to recognize the connections to your past that reading the book brought up for you.

Every year around my birthday (or sometimes around New Year's Eve) I try to really take in my own mortality, think about those close to me who have died (my grandparents and uncle), and to have a good cry.

It's rare for people to interact with death in such healthy ways, I think, and you should be proud that you are able to.

geo said...

Thanks Jeff!

sherry forey said...

Hi George- I LOVE you blog- you are such an awesome person- never forget that!! Smiles- Sherry F.