For my partner B how we appear in public is generally very important. Looking "bad" may mean that others will judge us negatively. For her, being Black, Female, and Large Bodied are all givens. Not being noticed (further) is important.
For me walking out with my shirt tucked in or half-way in is almost never an issue. I try not to make waves, but if others don't like the way I look, for me that's their problem.
Living with and around others requires me to try to be aware of and sensitive to what is important to them. Whether I think that pet peeves should be significant or not is not the issue. Sometimes I may choose to do things "my way" and sometimes I may listen and feel what others may want or I think that they may want.
I think that in most trouble spots in the world today the United States looks foolish or worse because we generally don't see the Space that others walk in and we insult people and otherwise are inconsiderate of their worlds of honor and respect.
Listening and hearing others is important!
Thanks!
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