In my past major relationship I did not stay emotionally connected with my Partner. When things were hard between us silence was the norm. Being passive and passive-agressive was of course not effective in maintaining a good relationship.
Staying connected has been very important for both my current partner and myself. Sometimes being connected is very simple and "natural". At other times it takes serious work and is very hard.
For me staying connected is always remembering that the relationship is much bigger than any hard moment. Staying connected necessitates taking care of myself so that I can be focussed both on B and what my feelings of the moment are, free from baggage (with her or others).
Staying connected includes listening to and hearing things that aren't always positive. It can be taking in the Part of some words spoken to me that they are important and helpful, without taking in B's self, issues and energy.
Staying connected includes acknowledging that I am wrong, when I see that I messed up. It also includes appreciating and acknowledging B as my loving partner.
Staying connected is an ongoing process. It is hard. It is important for me.
Thanks!
geo
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