Sunday, May 14, 2006

Mothers Day - Recognition etc.

Today is Mother's Day. In a few days I'll have my 55th Birthday and my son his 19th Birthday (the same day). A month later I will have my last day at work before I retire.

In all these celebration days/events I have the issues of recognition and what we do with myself and others that I care about.

Two days after my 17th birthday, my mother said: "G, don't you have a birthday coming up soon." My parents, within a year of my brother's birth (2 years after mine) had confused one or both of our birthday dates. For them these things weren't important, except perhaps my Bar Mitzvah when I was 13.

For me it has been hard to see the meaning in such ritual days. It's not hard to recognize the importance of affirming my wonderful B, the love of my life, but it is easier to do that on occasions not tinged with the "you must" syndrome.

It's also hard to say to others: "recognize me". I'm more comfortable in the background, wanting to be respected for individual and collective things that I do (quietly and privately), rather than hearing: "you're a great guy" - for something like my birthday or retirement.

I'm learning how to be more "normal" in such areas. My learning curve varies depending upon my mood and lots of other things. I really enjoyed my wedding in 2004. That was a welcome surprise for me.

Happy Mother's Day y'all!

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