"I didn't Mean it That Way"

Often in life we make statements that may not sound to the listener the way we think we intended the words to be heard:

I didn't mean that I don't love you but .....

Of course I respect you my child. What I said to you was for the best even though you may not see it that way now.

I have nothing against (take your pick): Arabs, Jews, Feminists, Black People ... Some of my best friends are (take your pick).

Upon hearing that my partner (Black Woman) is Jewish: "Oh, you and Sammy Davis Jr.

Frequently the statements are not as blatant. The person listening may have had a lot of painful experiences in their life related to what the other person is seemingly flippantly saying.

As a White Man I often don't realize how others who may be Female, of Color, or of a Working Class Background may be "translating" in their daily lives, making the dominant culture people such as me "comfortable" and living in a "foreign" world for themselves (at least in the area I'm talking about).

Listening and really hearing, feeling and thinking all can help a little at least!

Thanks!