Sunday, May 16, 2010

Reflecting Forward and Backwards

Today, on my 59th birthday, I went out and ran a little longer than the past few days. It was early (cooler) and I felt stronger and much better than on previous days when my legs felt heavy and immobile. While I'm a long way from being in good running shape, I can see that with a cooler, less humid climate and work I can get back into running shape. It won't be the shape I was in when younger, but...

It feels funny to say that I'm 59. It feels like 40-45 was a long time ago, but am I really "that old"? It feels like I'm in a transition, but it is unclear where I'm moving both from and to. Thankfully it feels relaxing and not pressured.

I feel happy to have others who are so kind to me, despite all my weaknesses and flaws.

I'm happy that today is also my son's 23rd birthday. He's running his first half-marathon in Chicago where he lives starting in a little less than half an hour. I'm proud of all that he's done, and hopeful that the economy based threats to his job will in the end dissipate. He's been very successful as a first year science teacher as well as coaching cross country and track. More importantly he's a good person growing into adulthood.

I wonder about the immediate future. My cell phone rang at 3:40 a.m. (12:40 a.m. West Coast Time) and I couldn't get it in time to answer it. "Restricted Number" Could it be my mother or even about my mother. My mother just turned 83, and my step-father's 88th birthday was last month. B's mother will turn 87 in a few days.

I've been lucky in so many ways, despite my miss-steps and questionable doings and not doings in my earlier life. I enjoy being retired very much! My duplicate bridge playing has grown. I'm no longer a so-so player, having moved to being a moderately good player. It feels good to place in not-high level competition at least 2/3 of the time. I enjoy reading and playing around on the computer. Exercising at the gym and elsewhere continues to be most enjoyable.

I hope, despite so much evidence to the contrary, that Peace in the Middle East will break out - with changing tides among increasing numbers of American Jews as well as others in Europe and elsewhere. It is sad to me that so many people don't read and understand history and realities of the present in more thoughtful, deep ways. While I can enjoy some movies and a little television I don't confuse the fantasies of escapism from some of the often simple realities we all face in our daily lives.

I hope that Barack Obama will grow as a leader and assert himself for some of the "liberal" causes that he espoused recently, despite the barrage of recent manure that has shown the racism and short-sightedness of so many. I also hope that more of us will see the need to reflect and grow: as men, learning how to better relate to the worlds of women, children and other men; as White People in a world that is increasingly multi-cultural; as Americans in a world where, despite being "so strong" we often are out-of-touch and at times irrelevant to the worlds around us.

Thank you!

No comments: