This morning my mother died peacefully in her sleep. She was 87 years old. Nine days before her death she was happily living in her new apartment not far from where I live, unaware that major health issues were about to be discovered.
She accepted that she could not recover from the medical conditions she had and did not want to prolong her life with no hope of getting well or having a slower, happier time ahead of her.
My mother was both a beautiful individual and a most difficult person. Her social graces were lacking in some ways which could be infuriating. Undoubtedly some of my weak areas were inherited from her as we were tied in not always healthy ways.
My mother had a loving heart and did her best to please various other people in her life. She also made serious mistakes including alienating my son as he grew through his childhood. I was very sad about this, but could do nothing to prevent it.
I am very, very very proud of how my son forgave her and was with her the last five days of her life in a most loving and caring way. It meant a lot to her to meet her new daughter-in-law and be treated so wonderfully by the two of them!
It was tough for me to feel our relationship reverse course recently as in important ways she sought my advice and I could no longer lean upon her for what I used to take for granted when I was younger.
My mother always meant well. Over the last several months of her life she adjusted incredibly well while her life was being turned upside down. Losing her house (to a fire) and eight days later losing her husband was a lot to cope with. She happily moved into a retirement home near where I live and developed a support network quite rapidly there.
This morning her struggles with death ended peacefully. Ma, I miss you already! My tears flow as I think back over so much.
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