Thursday, May 16, 2013

Now That I'm 62 Years Old

Now I'm 62 years old.   Saying that makes me feel "old".

In late 1973, over 39 years ago, I began working as a claims representative for The Social Security Administration.   One needed to be 62 years old (,along with other requirements,) to collect Social Security Retirement Benefits.    Though I've been retired from my paid employment for over six years, "62" still resonates with me in a way that feels a little uncomfortable, like I'm "aging".

It also feels good to be my age.   I'm learning to relax and enjoy many moments that would have passed me by, ignored in my franticness, in earlier years.   I'm trying to "grow up" in ways that feel significant to me.   I'm becoming more aware of when I feel anxious or otherwise irritated, and learning to stay in my discomfort and not to discount my feelings.   I'm trying to become a better listener and less of a "pontificater".   I'm learning how to be present with my mother and really be with her, despite how difficult it can be at times.   I'm trying to be a better life partner and father to my son.


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