Friday, October 28, 2011

Rojo - Feelings - Etc.

Rojo, our Labradoodle is a cute, crazy 5 year old dog. Until the last month or so he was "ridiculous" in his extreme exuberance - getting extremely (overly) excited around other dogs and oft times people in public - particularly around men (though sometimes women) that he liked.

When Rojo is outside - those who understand dogs at all find him harmless and loveable, while those who don't know dogs at all and/or fear them, can be scared of how aggressive he seems to them. They don't see his wagging tail and silliness.

Roughly a month ago Rojo seemingly injured himself.

His vet - had x-rays done and I was told that he had and will have increasing difficulties with both hips for the rest of his life. As his condition develops - at some point he will need pain medication for the rest of his life.

I am very attached to Rojo! I first saw him as a 10 pound puppy who was about 8 weeks old and have been his primary caregiver over the five years since then. It is difficult, particularly for me, to see how he adjusts to his changed life, where his walks are shorter and controlled and his lifestyle in general is different.

Rojo - rests and sleeps more than he used to do, and has increasing periods of "moans" and other sounds (he's a very, very expressive - noisy dog)- that reflect both the pain he obviously is in at times as well as simply his slowing down and being more passive to cope with his changing body.

A part of me feels like I've been sort of "cheated" - as the innocent (and he was certainly an "innocent") carefree "boy" that I knew - is moving into being prematurely "older". It also feels to me like his carefree happiness - is in part gone forever - though he certainly handles it much better than I do.

I also reflect upon how this again, is an example of how I take things for granted until they are lost - with my sweet dog.

I am crying now - overly emotional yes - but I do feel sadness here. It is also a reminder of my own aging - though not "extreme" - as things in much smaller ways get harder as I get older.

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