Growing- Among Men

Beginning in the summer of 2007 I started try to form a men's support group here in Seattle where I live.   In December the group finally got its start with four of us, after I'd almost given up on getting enough men to start.    Last evening we had seven attendees - for the first time, with an eighth member out-of-town.    Our goal has been to have eight regular members.

Sizable numbers of supporters of feminism believe that equality will only be possible with the conversion of men to their side.   Often this belief rests upon men accepting feminism based upon seeing sexism for what it is and "doing better" - helping end domestic violence and rape as well as changing their own personal relationships with women.    Standing up to sexist statements and similar are an important part of this process.

While I agree with much of what I've described above, I believe that we men will only really change in sizable numbers when we start looking seriously at ourselves as men.    Empathy for women (alone),  while important,  does not seem to me to be sufficient to reach most men.  

Being male is hazardous to our physical and mental health.   As I wrote about previously here, we men - die at higher rates than women:  about a 23% higher rate during our first year of life and peaking at ages 15-24 when we are 261% more likely to die.   At all ages we are "weaker than women" in that we are more likely to die younger than women are.    See the statistics below for all our ages of life up to age 85.

Our ( U.S. ) mortality rates per 100,000 population (2004 data) are shown below:

AGE	Male	Female	%F/M
0-1	754	613	0.812997
1-5	32	27	0.84375
5-14	19	14	0.736842
15-24	115	44	0.382609
25-34	140	64	0.457143
35-44	244	144	0.590164
45-54	544	314	0.577206
55-64	1129	707	0.626218
65-74	2645	1761	0.665784
75-84	6394	4522	0.707226

http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/cats/births_deaths_marriages_divorces.html

I don't think that most men will really take seriously the needs of women and children until we see what we do to ourselves.   We kill and injure each other.   We also live lives which are self-destructive.   We start at birth a little "weaker" than baby girls - and get at our "worst" as teenagers and young adults, and though we do better as we age, we still are much more likely to die younger than women are.

My men's group with 8 middle-aged and older men is hardly going to change things in our larger world.   I can only hope though that More men will start moving towards other men in caring, supportive ways - so that we can eventually rebuild masculinity into a life affirming way of living.    Then, perhaps, hopefully - we will recognize Women and Others in General - as important equals - and really succeed in ending inequality.

Thanks!