Saturday, November 29, 2008
The Anti-Hero (and The Hero) - Lessons ?
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Magic
I have different types of moments - which I label as "magic". No doubt many, if not most of you, others have similar moments in your lives.
Such moments, whether brief, or lasting longer, put me in a spirit - a feeling of Elation - that words otherwise don't easily define. It is a personal feeling which can be shared only in slivers, if at all, with others.
A simple example for me is entering into certain beautiful settings, usually involving large bodies of water, sunsets or sometimes both. For me it isn't the setting itself that gets me, but the mood and feelings I get in that magical moment.
I remember when I first saw Point Lobos Reserve, just south of Carmel, California. In that moment it was far more incredible than it has ever been when I've returned to see it. I could share how beautiful it was with others, but not the spirit of the moment.
A somewhat different spark of magic comes to me at times when I play duplicate bridge. In duplicate bridge we are playing a card game complicated by the fact that we compete with about two to 15 other couples who are playing the identical hands that we are playing.
In bridge one communicates with one's partner through bidding and playing one's cards. Nuances (and of course luck) can make a big difference. At times when I play duplicate I feel bonded to my partner in a way that I can't explain as we do "the right thing" and (then generally) triumph over our opponents. It may be within a single hand or on multiple hands or during an entire session.
If my partner in the bridge game feels magic in that moment it is undoubtedly different - because we are each unique individuals.
The magic comes elusively, though Possible places for it to appear are clear. The magic is not words or "rational". It encompasses feelings in that moment.
It is difficult to find magic when I'm significantly depressed or "lost" (unless I'm lost in fantasy). It is also difficult to find when looking with Significant Expectations which may not be met (or not appreciated when they are met).
I love the magic that appears for me within some books in some moments when I say: "aha, ....." and am so content.
You - no doubt have your own tales of magic in your life and how it is a part of you.
Thanks!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Remembering - My Father
Foolish, naive boy that I was (into my teenage rebellion first listening to rock music - having no needs I thought for my parents) - it was a transformative moment. My father's illness had never been discussed and I had never thought about his dying. At the same time it made perfect sense in that moment.
We got dressed and went to the hospital and I saw my father's body still in the hospital bed - my last time with my father. I didn't cry then, nor over the weekend including at his funeral on the Sunday. Now I cry - easily and openly. I didn't know - a lot then. I know a little more now.
Before he got sick my father was about 5'4 tall and weighed around 140-145 pounds. He felt bad in the late summer of 1961 and what was later determined to be terminal cancer was found to be the problem. In December, 1961 he was operated upon. I remember my mother crying endlessly then. She'd been told at age 37, that she'd be a widow - that there was no hope because the cancer had metastasized.
Seeming miraculously - my father "recovered" and was able to go on a planned sabbatical to study mathematics in Zurich, Switzerland. For a magical year - we traveled during vacations including a trip to Israel in the early spring where he saw many, many members of his huge family most of whom he'd not seen since he left Berlin in 1927.
In August, 1963 - we returned to Indiana - and Dad's health began to fail again. In April, 1964 - he went to Billings (University of Chicago) Hospital in Chicago for more testing. He took the bus from Chicago to be at my Bar Mitzvah which was held on a Thursday evening so my Orthodox Jewish grandfather could travel to the temple.
My mother pleaded with the rabbi to make the service short - because my father had to be on the bus back to Chicago so he would get there before midnight and not be discharged and need to be re-admitted. Despite this - she was forced to take my father to the bus station during the service - while the rabbi - was doing the Kaddish, the Jewish prayer for the Dead. My mother never forgave the rabbi for this.
In June, 1964 - we took the train to Oakland, California. My father had been hired by his best friend from graduate school Al Blank to work on a SMSG four semester high school calculus text project. We lived in a newly built fraternity house at the center of the Stanford Campus in Palo Alto.
My father's health went way downhill that summer. On our way back to Indiana we stopped at Grand Canyon. We were next to go to Denver, but my father was too weak and we went home.
My father could no longer ride his bicycle the 6 blocks or so to his office at Purdue University. My mother had to drive him and carry his briefcase. He kept doing what meant the most to him - teaching his classes at Purdue.
My mother later told me that my father Never talked about his death or dying. It was scary to think of dying and he coped by trying to pretend that he was getting better and not dying. His stomach was slowly losing its narrow access as his weight dipped in the end to a little less than 90 pounds.
My mother told me that one colleague came to the house and upon learning that Dad wasn't home asked if he "was dying" or perhaps "had cancer" - and she told him the truth. She said that this was the only time the subject was talked about - directly with another that she knew of. She said that he was very sad that he'd not live to see my brother and me grow up.
Ma also told me that they decided to Not talk about Death with my brother (11 then) and me to try to let our lives be as normal as possible.
My father died Friday, November 13, 1964. He taught his last class about 10:30 a.m. the morning of November 12th, feeling very sick, being taken to the hospital and then after various testing being told he could stay overnight in the hospital because he had other routine tests scheduled for the next morning. It was the only night he spent in the hospital the last 7 months of his life.
I never had a chance to say "goodbye" or to deal with what was going on until after my father died and that took many years. My father - never had a chance to share his fears and be whole (in an era of silence) about what he went through. I'm sad and crying today as I write!
Thanks!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Growing- Among Men
AGE | Male | Female | %F/M |
0-1 | 754 | 613 | 0.812997 |
1-5 | 32 | 27 | 0.84375 |
5-14 | 19 | 14 | 0.736842 |
15-24 | 115 | 44 | 0.382609 |
25-34 | 140 | 64 | 0.457143 |
35-44 | 244 | 144 | 0.590164 |
45-54 | 544 | 314 | 0.577206 |
55-64 | 1129 | 707 | 0.626218 |
65-74 | 2645 | 1761 | 0.665784 |
75-84 | 6394 | 4522 | 0.707226 |
http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/cats/births_deaths_marriages_divorces.html
I don't think that most men will really take seriously the needs of women and children until we see what we do to ourselves. We kill and injure each other. We also live lives which are self-destructive. We start at birth a little "weaker" than baby girls - and get at our "worst" as teenagers and young adults, and though we do better as we age, we still are much more likely to die younger than women are.
My men's group with 8 middle-aged and older men is hardly going to change things in our larger world. I can only hope though that More men will start moving towards other men in caring, supportive ways - so that we can eventually rebuild masculinity into a life affirming way of living. Then, perhaps, hopefully - we will recognize Women and Others in General - as important equals - and really succeed in ending inequality.
Thanks!
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
REALISTIC – DIFFERENT – HEALTHCARE SYSTEM FOR THE
Barack Obama has proposed a new system establishing initially required coverage for all children. His plan has various incentives to encourage/cajole employers to have private health care for their employees. His proposals rely upon having federal employee health plans eventually available for all as a backup to private health insurance plans.
Our current healthcare system relies upon employers and governmental entities paying substantial amounts of money to pay both for health insurance coverage and for medical treatment in general. Healthcare costs in the U.S. are substantially higher than elsewhere because of various reasons such as: the extremely high bookkeeping/billing expenses, our high usage of various expensive diagnostic equipment, our high drug costs, the relative accessibility of (more costly) medical specialists easily, as well as a reliance upon many without health coverage upon emergency rooms for basic medical treatment.
While healthcare providers are often squeezed, there are few incentives to be highly cost-effective in general. When I go to a physician and my cost is $20-30, I will logically choose to get “as much care as possible” for this relatively small amount of money. Others who have poor or no healthcare coverage can not afford treatment at all.
Why shouldn’t employers be taxed based upon their revenues and incomes, rather than by the number of (full-time) employees they have? Why should they need to be involved in medical care and treatment at all?
I would like to suggest a radically different model for health care reform which I think is better than any proposal I’ve heard elsewhere. Much of what follows was initially in my blog entry of May 11, 2006 (http://www.geoisphere.blogspot.com).
Assume the following:
3.] A Federal Agency is established to handle the new health care system probably through the existing HCFA (Health Care Financing Agency) which handles Medicare and Medicaid.
4.] The Federal Agency either independently or in coordination with the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has a new taxation management system.
5.] The Federal Agency together with contracted insurance companies handles the entire payment and reimbursement program with all medical providers.
6.] Individuals and Families pay their medical expenses on a yearly basis either as a part of their federal income tax or in a parallel tax tied to the income tax.
7.] The medical tax payments due are based upon the expenses incurred as well as the taxable income of the family/individual taxpayer unit.
8.] Individuals and couples are responsible for paying for their medical costs for the prior taxable year by April, 15th similar to their income tax liabilities.
9.] Individuals have a series of costs for medical treatment. Examples of this might be:
a. Deductible - $500 - Year - Total Expenses
b. Co-Payment per Doctor Visit beyond the deductible- $35
c. Co-Payment per Hospitalization beyond the deductible- $200
d. Co-Payment per Prescription beyond the deductible- $25
10.] (Catastrophic) caps on Costs might be:
a. Family Deductible - $2000 (would only apply if family had 5 or more members)
b. Prescription Costs - $300 once $500 deductible had been met
c. Individual Total Expenses - $2000
d. Family total Expenses - $5000
11.] The deductibles, caps and some other costs for the individual or family would be reduced as their taxable income was below certain levels - perhaps $30-60,000/year taxable income for a family of four. Thus a family with taxable income of $20,000 might end up paying a total tax of a token amount such as $100 perhaps.
12.] Medical providers would accept their patients based upon various guidelines and reimbursement policies, but with no necessary concern of them having health care coverage or any particular kind of such coverage.
13.] Cost containment policies, audits and related procedures would attempt to minimize fraud and waste.
14.] Liability issues for workers compensation would need to provide a simple method of requiring employers to reimburse the federal government probably only in cases of extremely high expenses (if liability for medical treatment would exist at all).
15.] Other than related to worker's compensation, if determined applicable, employers would have no expenses for medical insurance.
16.] Individuals could choose to pay 100% of the costs of any medical care outside of the national healthcare system if they chose to do so for whatever reasons they wished.
17.] Certain medical care might be not-covered by the national healthcare system such as elective plastic surgery that had no clear medical value.
18.] Medical providers could choose to not participate in the national healthcare system. If they wished to treat both participants and non-participants in the system, they could Only treat patients outside of the system for conditions not covered by the system (example: routine cosmetic surgery).
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In such a healthcare system:
Obviously such a system is far more complex than my explanation can cover. It is a model for a future national health plan that I hope others will consider.
Thanks!